Open-up Diaries: Day Three
Breaking news — my life is over
I’ll begin today with an update on yesterday’s story about the dog-poo lady. Honestly, I am mortified. I’m going to have to go into hiding. OK, here we go.
So my mum walked Nora down to the postbox in the rain. Standard stuff. It’s a busy road, and she’s trying to get Nora used to the traffic, etc. etc. And guess who she bumps into? Take a guess.
The dog-poo lady.
I’m going to stop calling her the dog-poo lady, because it really does sound awful, and she’s a really lovely person. I’ll call her vizsla lady instead, because she has a vizsla and I love vizslas.
Anyway, being a really friendly person, vizsla lady recognised Nora and had a chat with my mum. And what did my mum do? She said, ‘Oh, you’re the lady with the dog-poo bag and no dog, aren’t you? My daughter has written about you on her blog, you should check it out.’
I want to die.
This, guys, is why you don’t write about people on the internet. Even if you don’t know them. Because there’s always a mother with no filter ready to track the subject down and spill all. There’s a metaphor for life in there somewhere, but I’m half asleep and I can’t find it.
